The Whole Story

It’s time I sit down and get this whole story sorted out. I’ll keep it pretty detailed, so if you want to read it, you’ll have to deal with it!

At this point, we’re still not sure exactly when it all started, but I’ll include the earlier stuff. 

On Sunday, December  18^th, one week before Christmas, I started bleeding. We called a friend from church to watch the kids (they were already in bed for the night), and we went to the hospital to the triage unit. They ran some tests, did some monitoring, and couldn’t find anything wrong. We went home a few hours later and the bleeding stopped. Everything seemed to be normal.

A few days later, on Wednesday, December 21^st, I started bleeding again. This time, I just went in to the doctor by myself so Sander could stay home with the kids. They ran some more tests, did an ultrasound, and, again, found nothing wrong. So I went home and the bleeding stopped.

On Sunday, December 25^th, Christmas Day, I started having some cramps along with my typical Braxton Hicks contractions. Sometimes they hurt worse than others, but I guess I just didn’t think much of it. I thought maybe I was dehydrated or just needed to rest. I also remember thinking that maybe the baby had just shifted around funny and was pushing on my bladder, making it hurt. We were tired of going all the way to the doctor, only to be sent home with “nothing wrong.” I decided to just wait it out and enjoy Christmas with the family. In retrospect, I should have gone in to the doctor that day. Maybe they would have found nothing, but maybe they could have stopped the labor. That is definitely making me feel guilty right now, and I probably always will.

Christmas night I had a hard time sleeping because of the contractions. I’ve had two kids, I have been in labor twice, and this just didn’t feel like labor. It was just kind of a mild pain most of the time, and I ignored it. Monday morning I took some Tylenol and we continued about our day. It was our 8^th wedding anniversary, so we decided we’d go out to celebrate. We went to the Outback Steakhouse with the kids and had a good time. At that point, though, I told Sander that I would call the doctor the next day and tell them to run more tests! I was not going to leave until they told me what was wrong!

On Tuesday, the 27^th, I called the office and they told me to come in at 11:00am. We all went together, and Sander stayed in the waiting room with the kids while I went in for the appointment. The doctor asked me some questions and listened to the baby’s heartbeat. She did an internal exam and said I felt “effaced.” That is the first step of going into labor- the cervix begins to efface (shorten) and then dilate (open.) My doctor decided that I should go back to Triage at the hospital to be monitored to make sure the contractions weren’t doing anything to progress labor. I appreciate that no one made me feel guilty for waiting so long to come in. They could have scolded me for that!

We weren’t too happy about having to drive to the hospital, thinking the same thing was going to happen as last time, but we wanted to do what was necessary for the baby to be safe. We still had the kids with us and it was almost lunch time. The kids could not be in the Triage room, so I told Sander to just go home, feed them, and put them to bed. I’d call when they were done with me. I knew it was going to be at least a few hours while they ran tests and monitored me. I remember seeing my family in the hallway of the hospital as I handed Sander the diaper bag. I waved goodbye, and Jack tried to follow me, but Sander pulled him away and Jack was confused.  I went back to Triage alone and figured I’d better settle in.

They strapped on the monitors and I just hung out for a while. A midwife came in and told me they were going to start an IV of fluids and give me some medication to help “calm the uterus.” I absolutely hate IV’s. They are the worst part of labor and delivery for me. The nurse tried to start one on my left arm and it wouldn’t work, so she had to start again on my right. I hated it so much! Then I took a pill of some kind that was supposed to help with the contractions (I believe they said it was blood pressure medicine that worked well for slowing labor.) I was there for maybe 45 minutes before the midwife actually did an exam. She and the nurse were both looking at me with the speculum (yes, it was fun), and they both said, “Oh!” I asked what was wrong. The midwife said she’d tell me in a second. She then checked my cervix and said, “I’m sorry, but you’re dilated to 5cm.” Then the nurse and midwife both cursed out loud and everything started happening very fast.

They told me they didn’t want me to have the baby right now, but that I was in labor. They called an ambulance and said I’d have to be taken to a different hospital, since the one I was in did not have a NICU and couldn’t handle a 28-week birth. They asked me if anyone was with me, and I said I’d have to call my husband. I called Sander and he had just put the kids down for their naps. I told him he needed to come back because I was already 5cm dilated. He’d have to find someone to watch the kids and meet me at the other hospital once I arrived. I started shaking- from the drugs, or from labor, or nerves. I was very worried about what was going to happen. I was still hoping everything would just stop.

They gave me a shot of steroids for the baby’s lungs. They were trying to get some magnesium started on my IV, but it wasn’t there yet. The ambulance was on its way. My doctor said she’d come with me to the hospital (she was still at her office.) The on-call midwife checked me again, only minutes after the initial check, and I was already 7cm dilated. (I only had to get to 10cm before the baby could come out!) They started to change their minds and think I would have to stay and have the baby there. There wasn’t enough time to transfer me to the other hospital. But as quickly as they said that, my doctor arrived and insisted we get to the hospital with the NICU. By the time the ambulance came, I was 8cm. They told me to notify them immediately if I felt like I needed to push. They rushed me outside in the rain and onto an ambulance. The magnesium started to take effect, and it made me extremely nauseous. It was supposed to help slow the contractions, but by the time I got to the hospital, I was 9cm dilated.

They were telling me in Triage while we waited for the ambulance that the doctors were going to insist on a c-section. They said it would be easier on the premature baby. I was pretty upset about that, because we had been trying so hard for a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean.) I knew if I had 3 c-sections in a row- that was it. I wouldn’t ever have a natural, vaginal birth. I wanted to do what was best for the baby, though, so I tried to accept it. When my doctor arrived, however, she said she was going to take over my care (even though she didn’t work at that hospital), and that I could still deliver vaginally. She said it was all happening so fast and that the baby would be okay.

Sander got to the hospital soon after I arrived by ambulance. The NICU doctor had just left my room after explaining the basics of what would happen after the baby was born. Shortly after, my doctor found that I was fully dilated and ready to push, so they wheeled me into the operating room where I would deliver. The NICU has a room set up off of the O.R., so I had to deliver in there. After my water broke, I pushed a few times, and out came a baby boy. I had my eyes closed when he came out, so I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl. The nurse told me it was a boy and I just felt so shocked that I had just had a baby. Everything had happened so incredibly fast. My appointment was for 11:00am, and Ryan was born at 4:02pm. I couldn’t comprehend what had happened quite yet.

They told me he cried a little after he was born, which is a very good sign. He did have to be intubated, but was only on the ventilator for a matter of hours before he was upgraded to a CPAP (another breathing assistance method.) We couldn’t see him for a few hours, so I told Sander go home and take care of the kids. Sander was only at the hospital from 3:30pm to 7:30pm. One good thing coming from such a short labor was the fact that the kids didn’t have to be without us for very long. I didn’t want to have to worry about them while worrying about our new baby boy. We had no idea what to name him, so we decided to worry about it the next day.

I saw the little guy at about 8:30pm. I didn’t stay long because I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t hold him and I couldn’t really see his face because of all the tubes and wires. I felt tired and emotionally drained, so I left the NICU and went to sleep. I think the nurses thought it was a little strange that I didn’t stay longer, but I knew I would be better off getting rest. I still felt pretty detached from the whole experience.

The next day was my 29^th birthday. I wanted to go home as soon as possible. After having 2 c-sections, I couldn’t believe how easy the recovery was from this birth. I was walking around and feeling great only an hour after I had him. I left the hospital at 12:00 and we had Wendy’s for lunch on the way home. I still couldn’t believe I had already had my little baby. I should have still been pregnant! We told the kids that they had a new baby brother, but Jack didn’t really understand. He wanted to see the baby.

We finally came up with a name- Ryan Andrew- on the drive home from the hospital. Both Jack and Callie can say “Baby Ryan,” but they don’t fully comprehend that we have a new member of the family. Jack says baby Ryan is sick and that he is in the hospital to feel better. We told Jack that Ryan will come home soon when he is stronger and grows a little bigger.

When I got home from the hospital there were balloons and streamers hanging from the wall, and a cake on the table with presents for my birthday. That was the sweetest thing. Sander put one candle on the cake so we could also celebrate baby Ryan’s birth.

It was such a bittersweet experience. People don’t know whether to say “Congratulations” or “I’m sorry.” At this point, though, we know Ryan is going to be okay and that he will come home to join our family. He might have some struggles, but he might also grow up to be perfectly healthy and normal. So far, he is doing well and is meeting all expectations. We are so happy to have him in our lives, even though he can’t quite be with us at home. His birthday, right in between our anniversary and my birthday, will always be a special day for us.